The Sergeant Major

 

Now look here, you!

Uh-oh, I’m in trouble.

It’s just not good enough, you know.

Yes, I know.

First you said you forgot to get to the library on time.

Yes, I know.

When actually, you forgot about it altogether, didn’t you?

I suppose so, but I was on holiday.

That’s no excuse.

Yes, I know.

So what’s your excuse for last night, then?

Hmm…

You mean you don’t even have an excuse?

Other than having a headache, no.

A headache?  Don’t be such a girl.

But I am a girl.

No you’re not.

Really?  Cos the last time I checked, I could have sworn…

You’re not a girl, you’re a writer.

Oh, I see.  And writers don’t get headaches?

Of course they do, and then they take pills to cure their headaches.

I took pills, quite a few in fact.

Well all right then!  Still didn’t write your blog last night, did you?

No, I kinda spaced out there for a while, dozed on and off.

How many painkillers did you take?

I dunno.  One of each?

Geez louise, no wonder you were on another planet!

It would seem so.  I was even getting random text messages from the twilight zone.

Are there any other kind?

From the twilight zone?  Probably not.

No.  It’s still no excuse, though.

I wasn’t anticipating being a space cadet!

That’s true, but it pays to plan ahead.

I will endeavour to do better.

So, every week without fail then?

Yes, sir.

No excuses?

No, sir.

Are we clear?

Three bags …  I mean, crystal clear, sir!

What was that?

Random message from the twilight zone?

What?

Something to do with ‘bags’ I think!

Hmm.  Don’t forget your deadlines, recruit.

No, sir.

Diligence, determination, discipline.

Yes, sir.

Many get called, few get chosen.

Yes, Mr Updike, sir.

Good girl.